Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
