whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
