Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
