It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
