She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
