Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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