Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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