she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize