I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
