exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
