He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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