we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
