what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize