Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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