I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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