Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
