i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
