I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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