I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
