How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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