i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
