It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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