I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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