ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
