I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
