dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
