Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just invented taco cereal.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize