I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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