Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
