oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
