I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
