You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
