i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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