i may or may not be watching the land before time
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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