just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
