I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
