it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
