i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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