his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
