Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
