Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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