I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
