i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
