me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
