Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
