i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
