i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
