just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
