know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
