So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
COCAINE IS GR8
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
