you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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