You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
