So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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