We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize