i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
