do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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