Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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