My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
