At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
