People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
A bitchslap is in order.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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