porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
