I met the friendliest cop last night
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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