She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
